The 15 Creepiest Vintage Ads Of All Time

Original post by Retro Comedy (fair use posted)

What do murder, pedophilia, suicide and a baby tiger have in common? They have all been used to sell stuff in these amazingly disturbing vintage ads!

These are real, untouched advertisements from the good old days. It doesn’t matter if it’s lovely ladies or adorable clowns, somehow these old-time ad wizards found ways to traumatize us while pedaling everyday products.

Enjoy them now, call your therapist later!


And for more blasts from the past, you have to see:

17 Amazing Yearbook Photos Of Comedians
15 Amazing Yearbook Photos Of Politicians
10 Awkward Yearbook Photos Of Heavy Metal Stars



15. White Bread Demon
“Bread is swell, but what I’m really excited about is eating jelly made from the blood of the innocent!”


14. French Suicide Sausage
It’s enough to make you want to eat Kosher forever.


13. A Girl Around The House
It’s nice to have a girl around the house… especially if you are a psychopath serial killer who makes women into rugs!



12. Chubby
Who needs self-esteem when you can have a free fashion book for chubbies? Also, proving that advertising weight representation has always been screwed up, the girl pictured is totally not chubby.


11. Christmas Weapons
The family that guns together, has funs together.



10. Eye patch. Shirt. Baby Tiger.
Sexy?


9. Chase & Sandborn Spanking
She totally deserves it. Seriously, what kind of woman doesn’t “store test” for fresher coffee?


8. Fry’s Chocolate Nightmare
Nothing wants to make consumers buy chocolate more than 5 faces of a sickly kid looking 5 different shades of miserable.


7. Root Beer Baby!
Mama, please DO NOT give your baby another glass of Root Beer. It is clearly doing something horrible to him. He is terrifying.



6. Locked Out
You better wash out your privates with Lysol, or your husband will install cartoon locks on the door.


5. Pears Soap Disaster
“Pears Soap- now with such a soothing lather, you won’t notice that your baby has gotten into a horrible accident!”


4. Postage Meter Murder
“Is it always illegal to kill a woman?” This is a truly important question and makes us want to buy a new postage meter.


3. Shave Yourself
The old man baby’s gonna sing karaoke into a razor! Hooray!

2. Baby Soft
JonBenét Ramsey, eat your heart out. (Too soon?) This ad makes us want to scream, gouge out our eyes and then barf.


1. Chocolate Poulain
Drink that cocoa, or this clown will murder you in your sleep.


Special thanks to WeirdomaticLivejournal & the fabulous Plan 59 !

Flashback Friday – B52's "Love Shack"

Ahhhh the 80’s. I chose “Love Shack” by the B52’s because it’s just one of my favorites. I used to sing it to my sister every time it came on. What memories does it bring back for you? Enjoy! TGIF!!

If you see a faded sign by the side of the road that says
15 miles to the… Love Shack! Love Shack yeah
I’m headin’ down the Atlanta highway,
lookin’ for the love getaway
Heading for the love getaway, love getaway,
I got me a car, it’s as big as a whale
and we’re headin’ on down
To the Love Shack
I got me a Chrysler, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your jukebox money

The Love Shack is a little old place
where we can get together
Love Shack baby, Love Shack bay-bee.
Love baby, that’s where it’s at,
Ooo love baby, that’s where it’s at

Sign says.. Woo… stay away fools,
’cause love rules at the Lo-o-ove Shack!
Well it’s set way back in the middle of a field,
Just a funky old shack and I gotta get back

Glitter on the mattress
Glitter on the highway
Glitter on the front porch
Glitter on the hallway

The Love Shack is a little old place
where we can get together
Love Shack bay-bee! Love Shack baby!
Love Shack, that’s where it’s at!
Huggin’ and a kissin’, dancin’ and a lovin’,
wearin’ next to nothing
Cause it’s hot as an oven
The whole shack shimmies!
The whole shack shimmies when everybody’s
Movin’ around and around and around and around!
Everybody’s movin’, everybody’s groovin’ baby!
Folks linin’ up outside just to get down
Everybody’s movin’, everybody’s groovin’ baby
Funky little shack! Funk-y little shack!

Hop in my Chrysler,
it’s as big as a whale
and it’s about to set sail!
I got me a car, it seats about twenty
So c’mon and bring your jukebox money.

The Love Shack is a little old place
where we can get together
Love Shack baby! Love Shack bay-bee!
(Love Shack…Love Shack…)
Love Shack, that’s where it’s at!

Bang bang bang on the door baby!
Knock a little louder baby!
Bang bang bang on the door baby!
I can’t hear you
Bang bang on the door baby
Bang bang on the door
Bang bang on the door baby
Bang bang
You’re what?… Tin roof, rusted!

Love Shack, baby Love Shack!
Love Shack, baby Love Shack!
Love baby, that’s where it’s at
Love Shack, baby Love Shack!
Love baby, that’s where it’s at
Huggin’ and a kissin’,
dancin’ and a lovin’ at the love shack

kimtown is 2 years old!! Happy Birthday to ME!

So I’m a little late on this post and almost embarrassed; but I was moving so I’m blaming that 😉

On Sunday July 19th, kimtown officially turned 2 years old. I know it seems like much much longer. I want to thank all of my clients that have worked with kimtown (previously Simply Splash) and made me what I am today! 

In honor of kimtown’s 2nd birthday, I’m offering a complimentary CUSTOM splash page ($275 value) with ANY website purchased until the end of July!! 


High 5: Photographer (Julie Williams) eases pain for parents

WAY TO GO JULIE WILLIAMS! Julie is a good friend of mine and fabu photographer in Herriman Utah. She really is an angel on earth. She does so much for so many and I just love her! Congrats on your High-5 from KSL TV5 in Utah!

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

July 17th, 2009 @ 9:25am
By Brooke Walker
DRAPER — A Herriman woman uses her talent as a photographer to help ease the pain of parents whose babies have passed away. Friends and associates call Julie Williams an angel on earth.

This week we gave her a High 5. We met her at Draper City Park, where she was setting up a booth for the Draper Days event.

“You’re giving them something no one else can. You’re giving them their baby to remember.” -Julie Williams, High 5 recipient
Julie is a photographer for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, an organization that takes portraits of babies who have passed away or who will soon pass.

Amy Whitney nominated Julie for the High 5. Amy says she’s very appreciative of what Julie did for her and her husband after they lost their first baby.

“Julie had come as a volunteer for Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep,” Amy explained. “That’s where I first met Julie and we’ve become fast friends. The more I learn about her the more I am in awe.”

Julie told us, “I get asked all the time why I do what I do. I honestly don’t know, other than I see the reaction of the families. I know how much those images heal those families and help them with grief through these times.”

The first thing she tells photographers she’s training is, “You have to look past the pain, past the sadness to when the parents pick up those images, with tears streaming down their faces, and you’re giving them something no one else can give them. You’re giving them their baby to remember.”

If you would like to nominate someone for a High 5, follow the link on this page.

E-mail: bwalker@ksl.com
Article Courtesy KSL.com

Out of the Office/Re-Organizing

Well, we are finally back home in Jacksonville, Florida. Not completely settled, but I will be working on getting organized this week and getting some stability in my life. No more moving states! 

Please be patient with me during the next couple of weeks. If you have ordered a website, it will be installed within 3 business days. All other projects may be delayed one week. 

If you have an EMERGENCY where everything is broken and people are dying, email the 911 service at support911 at kimtown.com.